Today

Beach in Khao Lak








View from main beach in Khao Lak...long boat at dusk









Lunch today with Tom and Sabrina at Cream & Kim restaurant on the beach - best green curry I've ever had for 80 baht and 20 feet from the water.









Happy Feet (I'm sneaking a spot on one of the resort lounge chairs) :-)









I've spent the day in Khao Lak and will go back to Yaowawit in the morning. I've been a little mopey/lonely/in a funk the past couple of days. Even swimming in the ocean and walking the beach didn't seem to cure my blues.

I think what it comes down to is this. I'm sad to leave Yaowawit. I'm nervous about my next step (and the thought that it's all not lined up yet). I'm nervous about what I'm going to do back home. I miss my step-daughter and my dog and friends. I miss my life and yet I don't want to miss my life and friends here too.

The Thai culture is one that I'm falling in love with. The generosity and gratitude of the people I've become friends with here - both Thai and non-Thais - never ceases to humble and surprise me. Thai culture has good and bad - every country and culture does - but there's something about Thailand that I don't want to leave. Heat, bugs, long bus rides and all. I will miss Thailand. I will miss Thai people. I will miss my friends. I will miss my comfort zone and life here.

Tonight I sat and talked to a Thai tour guide staying and working here at Sri Guest House. He had asked earlier if I would mind talking to him in English anytime I have time. We talked for almost two hours. We talked about his life. We talked about my life. What it comes down to is this. Money can help make you happy. Money does not define whether you are happy or not happy. My friend sold his tour bus and business to give his father money. His family has had problems. They use to have money. Now - there is no money. Now things are not good. He thought that I must be really rich to take this trip. If you can travel to another country you are rich. He didn't understand that I make an average income in the U.S. I have friends that make so much more than I have and some that make less. I told him that low income is about $1,500 - $2,000 per month in the U.S. That blew him away. But I said... yes - if I can make $2,000 and live in Thailand I am rich. But when I live in the U.S. and I make $2,000 and live in Seattle, I have expensive food and housing and if you have a car or a family.... I told him that in Thailand there are many poor people. In the U.S. there are poor people. It's different but it's same-same. Maybe there are more poor people in Thailand. But I do know there are some very wealthy Thai people here as well. I told him that I've been at points in my life where the money came in easy. I've been at points where there wasn't enough food on the table - try buying food for the week with $10-20. I've sold cars to be able to eat and pay bills. I've worked and gone to school at night to get further in my career. I'm making the sacrifices financially and emotionally do explore a year of other countries and volunteering - not just to help others but to help my future career.

He was very surprised. There are many rich people that come through here. It's a tourist place. But what it comes down to is that there are rich and poor everywhere. There are good and bad people everywhere. My new Thai friend and I are both very lucky. We have our health. We have jobs (I had one and will again). We both can talk and learn and most important of all - we can laugh. I told him, "look at you, even though it is bad - you smile."

Money can help change our world. But being able to smile and share a kind moment - that is beautiful.

I've also been talking to a few friends about working hard. What I find interesting is that each of us thinks that we work harder and try harder than others around us. We focus only on our path and don't really hear or recognize that another person has it so much more difficult - it's not obvious because at the moment we're 'surviving' our own hard work or challenge. They may put in more hours or have to be "on" 24-7 or have some difficult family or medical stuff going on but we are oblivious because all we see is our own nose. I'm not saying I don't do this - I'm just observing it elsewhere at the moment. I'm not perfect either and I have and do still take things and others for granted. I hope though that when it comes down to the important things or to people that could use help - that I recognize that it's not all about me and my trials and my work and my life. Others have challenges too. Many times much more than mine or yours. I hope that I can be better in this area and I hope that you will take a moment too. We can always grow.

I am learning gratitude from my friends here. Gratitude for the simplest act, one that might be such a small thing in my eyes and yet to them it was difficult or out of their way to do. And yet... they give it or do it or say it. I'm seeing it in my U.S. friends too - maybe more so now because my perception is widening...

Thank you.